Settling

Today was an incredible day. It may have been the contrast to yesterday which I might describe as the worst day ever, but whatever the reason, I had a good day today. School has been stressing me out as working as a Montessori is always a matter of being one step ahead, calm and "looking for the child who is not there" as Montessori herself put it. When the kids are bouncing off the walls, screaming and destroying the materials, it's really hard to remember this. I'm trying to make it a kind of mantra. Keeping her books close to me and reading them often is a source of great inspiration and reassurance. Almost everytime I open one of her books it's as if she's writing to me personally, describing exactly what I should do to change the direction of something in my classroom or deal with a difficult situation with the children. Today I decided to be the change I want to see at school and it's working already. Ghandi and Montessori would have gotten along well.

This evening I made several major purchases. I passed the point a long time ago when I could pack up everything of mine and leave on a plane the way I came. Crossing over into the territory of really settling in here was something I've resisted. I didn't even move my suitcases down into my storage space after arriving for several weeks, and that was after finally unpacking them completely. Now, I have a brand new, shiny, snazzy Philips hairdryer and top of the line Sonicare Elite toothbrush, both with Swiss plugs. I'm settling in on a deeper level, mentally and physically. The decision to start changing my behavior as the teacher to effect change at school gives me a sense of ownership that I've been lacking and my feelings toward Neuchâtel are more and more feelings of comfort, a place I can call home. This is a good shift because all I've been able to think about lately is my trip home for Christmas. The States will always be home and I will no doubt settle down in Spokane one day. But in the meantime, it's important to be connected to where I am living, enjoy it fully and be present in each day. I am glad to be putting the effort into doing that. Of course I'm still counting, though. Five weeks until I go home for Christmas. Five weeks of living in and making the most of Switzerland.