It didn't occur to me at the time, but for a couple of weeks at the beginning of the month I was really irritable for no apparent reason. I think I finally know why: I didn't want Coco to start solids and to give up breastfeeding. At her six month check-up, the pediatrician gave me some information about starting solids and said she was ready, much to my dismay. I started getting everything ready from her little dishes and spoons to her highchair and finding space in the cupboard for the Babycook and rice cereal, but I was not excited about it at all.
I love breastfeeding so much it's crazy. I've thought and thought and thought and tried to figure out why I love it SO much, but I can't. I really can't. Maybe it's the closeness and the connection, maybe it's knowing that I'm giving her nourishment. But I don't think so. It's something else. Something magical and mysterious that I can't put into words. It's a beautiful, wondrous thing. Breastfeeding is probably the most glorious thing I've ever done. And I can't even tell you why. Oh well.
But I see now that during the grumpy funk, it was making me so sad and crabby to think that my little baby was going to stop breastfeeding. It's silly, really, because I fully intend to nurse Coco until she's two, but even knowing that, it still felt like her eating solid food was the beginning of her weaning and it was just a really sad time for me.
Then last week, it was like a switch went off and I was ready! We were sitting at lunch one day and she reached out and grabbed a handful of salad off of my plate and tried to shove it in her mouth. She didn't succeed, but she was definitely showing interest in food. Definitely! And suddenly, I was ready to feed her and give her food and it didn't make me sad anymore. Don't ask me how that happened. It just did.
So I ran out to buy a sweet potato to make for her. Actually, first I got out my Dr. Sears book and re-read the section on starting solids. Then I ran out to get a sweet potato. I also picked up some colorful organic carrots. Then I got out my Annabel Karmel baby purées book and started peeling and chopping. Then I started way over-documenting the process.
I even made J take a video
Just like the books said she might, she just spit it out. So I guess we'll try again next week. And then we might not go quite so crazy documenting. Okay, to say "we" is not really fair. I will not go so crazy documenting. It just seemed like such a huge milestone, but in the end, the over-documenting took away from the experience. J remarked later that he wished he'd seen it. Oof! Lesson learned. Sometimes it's better to just experience something than to go overboard taking pictures and videos.
I think Coco would agree.