Coco's American Identity

Of course Coco is American. That is really important to us because we are American. But I now understand, in a very concrete way, that her American identity is much more than a passport she carries. Yesterday, the lawn guy came to mow the lawn, and Coco was absolutely amazed! 

(She had no idea what was going on! ;) Get the whole story after the jump. 

When she first heard it, she looked alarmed and scared. I casually said, "Oh, sounds like someone is mowing their lawn" and carried on with whatever we were doing. Then she crawled over to the back door, pulled up and stood there, squealing and pounding on the door and I realized. Oh my goodness. My child has never seen a lawnmower before.

When he went around to the front and she could still hear it, nothing would satisfy her but being taken out on the front steps to watch. He stopped, smiled at us like we were crazy people and asked nicely, "She likes the lawnmower, huh?" That was when I actually had to explain that she's never even seen a lawnmower. It's a good thing for these visits to the US. Otherwise, Coco would find the place entirely foreign when we move back in a few years. As she gets older and more curious, I really see how different her life is in Zurich than it would be here. What sort of things are quintessentially American to you? What other experiences that shape us do we take completely for granted?

On Housekeeping and Montessori-at-Home

I always daydream of having a housekeeper who comes once a week to do the deep cleaning in our house. In my mind, this means that our home always feels organized and tidy and it's a huge stress relief for me to have that component of our lives taken care of. So the other day, when I ran into a friend on our lane, we got to talking about cleaning and housekeeping and I shared my daydreamy thoughts with him. 

His response really surprised me. And seriously got me thinking. All of my deep thoughts on cleaning and what it means to be a good mom after the jump!

That day in the lane, my friend said that cleaning your house is important and that no one else should do it but you. "When you're taking care of your own home," he said, "you know the status of everything. You know that plant needs a bit of water in two days, you know that dust tends to gather in a that corner; you're in contact with your home." He went on to say, "When you clean your own home and run your own household, it keeps your two feet on the ground; it keeps you engaged in tasks, and it keeps you well." 

Wow. 

I had certainly never thought of it that way. And as I walked away and thought about it a bit more, I was so happy to have an alternative perspective because I think he's right. (I'm going to add in right here that this friend is not married and he takes care of his own home. ;) 

If I didn't have the house to take care of, I might actually have too much idle time to focus on Coco. Now I know that sounds counter intuitive, but as a Montessori trained teacher, I know that children need to be engaged in tasks themselves. It's how children, even babies, gain the capacity to concentrate and problem solve. It's how they learn. That means that if I'm constantly with Coco, reading to her, playing with her and entertaining her sun up to sun down, she never gets the opportunity to expand her skill set and make discoveries independently. Right now, as I write this blog post, Coco is playing with two baby-food-jar-lids that she has been busy and occupied with for the past 20 minutes. She just discovered that she can make the lids spin on the hardwood floor when she drops them, but that they won't spin when dropped on the rug. She likes to watch them wobble and wobble until they stop flat. Then she lets out a little chirp when it's all finished. That is a discovery she made it all by herself. That probably wouldn't have happened if I had been playing with the lids with her. As an adult, I would have felt compelled to "do something" with the lids whereas Coco stumbled upon that organically through independent play. A discovery like that isn't satisfying when someone else does it for you or shows you. It's like solving a riddle. When you figure out a riddle and have that "Aha!" moment, it feels good. If someone tells you the answer before you figure it out, it's just a big let down. 

So, I don't think I'll be daydreaming of having a cleaner or housekeeper anymore. I am going to view my housekeeping as positive and necessary, both for Coco and for me. It's good modeling for Coco to see me engaged in tasks that are part of everyday life and it's good for me to be connected to our home. If I were working, it would be different. But I am a stay-at-home mom, so there is no reason for me not to take on that piece of our lives with purpose. I'm going to get my little sweetie involved as soon as possible. Did you know that children love sweeping and scrubbing as early as 18 months?! Children are so capable when we give them the tools and opportunity to be involved. Would you like to hear more about my integration of Montessori philosophy into our life at home? Would you like to know how you can engage your child in meaningful Montessori activities at home? If so, I'd be happy to make that a more prominent part of the blog. :) xo  

What new moms really need.

Aside from a devising a showering routine that is lightning fast, and adopting a hairstyle that doesn't require styling, I have discovered two essentials that I need (and love!) since becoming a mother. Don't laugh at the second one.

A DLSR camera. It is so important to invest in a decent camera - and learn how to use it - ahead of time. For the first six months of Coco's life, we were taking pictures with our point and shoot, but way more often with our iPhones. Don't do that! iPhone photos are not quality photos when it comes to printing and archiving. Then I got a Canon Rebel and 50mm lens. I'll admit that when I first bought it, I was telling everyone I had a new camera with a 50 milliliter lens and that I had also gotten a telescopic lens. It is not a measuring cup and no good for stargazing! What I did have were 50mm and telephoto lenses. ;) All the same, I learned how to use it and now we have gorgeous, photo album worthy photos of practically every waking moment of Coco's life. So worth it!

Trashy TV. This is invaluable at the beginning when your baby only wants to sleep in your arms. The first three weeks, J and I would settle onto the couch in the evenings with Coco in my arms on the Boppy Pillow and watch episode after episode of WEEDS! Sweet family viewing, right? But, really. I actually get kind of teary eyed when I hear the Weeds theme song now. It reminds me of those tender early days as a family. It was the perfect thing while we were exhausted and housebound. Watching trashy TV, drinking nursing tea and eating tons of cookies was just so satisfying. Now that Coco is older, once she is in bed at night, all I want to do after a long day of caring for her, meals, cleaning, laundry and diapers is kick back with a glass of red wine (or sometimes water! ;) and r-e-l-a-x. Last night I finally finished Desperate Housewives. What a disappointment! But trashy and fabulous, nonetheless!

What are the unexpected essentials and guilty pleasures of your life as a mom? And what are your favorite trashy TV shows? I'm looking for a new series! ;)

(Canon photo from here. Desperate Housewives logo from here.) 

Do you own a house?

Something that I daydream about often is being a homeowner when we move back to the States. We really love apartment living in the city, but we also know that someday we are going to be so ready to for a house with a garden and a big front porch and lots of space for our family and entertaining. A couple of years ago, when we were just arriving in Switzerland, getting settled and feeling good about staying, I saw the cutest house for sale near my mom's. 

As crazy as it sounds, I kind of wish we had bought it and rented it in the meantime! It's right across the street from a cute coffee shop and in the exact neighborhood I want to live in when we move back. I actually saved the photos from the listing (don't judge!) and I like to look at them every once in a while, daydreaming of pies cooling on windowsills, backyard grill parties with my mom and sisters and Coco's cousins, and walking the kids to school through crunchy fall leaves. Doesn't it just sound like heaven? 

I always become ridiculously attached to my apartments, but living in a house will be even more wonderful because it's long term. It's exciting to be saving every month for this big, adult step we will take in the next five years! If you're a homeowner, I'd love to hear your tips on house hunting, home buying and settling in. What worked well in the process? What would you do differently?